BFFs

Friends are something I have not written much about and I feel that I should express some gratitude to some particular peeps. If there is one thing that I have learned throughout my life, it is that to have good friends, I have to be way lucky and blessed. It amazes me how fortunate I have been and there is no better way of expressing this than by either embarrassing them or by mentioning them publicly. So for the sake of keeping their friendship a bit longer, I will just publicly mention them!

Mavanie: I met Mavanie… well… um… a long time ago. So long ago, in fact, that I have no idea where in the world I met her at... probably school. All I know was that we were in the same kindergarten class and church ward. When we were little we had a blast doing all sorts of stuff, even if her older brother was tormenting her by pulling her hair. When I moved, she was the only friend that wrote me faithfully, and I still have those letters somewhere in my collections of papers. She was there for me when I returned to Utah and we have been great friends still. Of course we have had our ups and downs, but who said friendships were easy!?! We share many memories and most of them will remain in the secrecy of our journals. But I spent many hours with her working on the yearbook staff, enduring long bus rides, playing sports, heaving hefty weights, staying out to my eleven o’clock curfew, watching some flicks with friends, and just driving around doing anything that we could (because what else is there to do in small towns?).



Alex: Well, when I moved away from my hometown, it was just by pure happenstance that Alex and I lived in the same house. Her last minute decision helped me through my first year of college. Even if she stole me away from our sour tempered roommate, she definitely helped get me out of my shell. I don’t remember the day that I first met her, but there are many days that I can remember since. Alex was not one to remain idle… even if that meant we were completely crazy. She even helped discover some silly quirks about myself… hypnosis is NOT cool! She always was happy and could get anyone to laugh no matter how bad the situation was. We spent lots of time licking plates, finding creative uses for clothespins, doing handstands, braking shoulders (only her’s), visiting her family in a faraway country, making midnight runs to Wallies, and watching Alias.




Natalie: Well… I’ve known Nat for only one year. But I can tell you that in a house of ten girls it is wonderful to have a solid, down to earth, head you can converse with or laugh hysterically at t.v. commercials. It’s also very good to have someone who will drive you around in their very hot, very squeaky vehicle (clear to the stop sign baby!).
Nat was very good to listen to any stresses that I have had when I have had stress (I say it like this to keep my stresses secretive). Dinner and a good conversation are always beneficial to one’s health. She has been so giving and has spent a lot of time serving me by giving me rides since my lame-o car has not been working- one day I will get a card and be able to beat her to the cashier!



Zane: I have never met a person who can be as tolerable as Zane is towards me- even when I feel guilty over a fish he is willing to listen to me. His positive attitude is one that I can mimic in my own life because he is just always laughing at something or doing something crazy. There are so many other attributes of Zane’s that I hope to learn throughout my life; he is a great example, a hard worker, very energetic, positive, happy, good at listening, understanding, and truly a caring person. Perhaps it is silly to say but legos are probably the foundation of our relationship, but who doesn’t love building blocks?!? (especially when they are Star Wars). Just who he is amazes me and I wouldn’t ask him to be any other way than he is now.



So these are some of my many friends, but I just thought that I would give a shout-out to these ones who have influenced my life so dramatically. I love each and every one of them and pray that they will be blessed for their friendship towards me.

Introduce yourself

I have been a pretty withdrawn person in my life. My routine was to speak to those whom I already had an acquaintance with and avoid conversing with anyone else. It took me many years to realize how silly bashfulness is (I don't say that to offend). Some of my high school regrets come from this ridiculous attribute. Fortunately I have the future to look forward to, and hopefully I will be able to put this characteristic behind me.

One day in high school my friend took the opportunity to go and introduce herself to another student that was new to the area (because my hometown area was so small new students were easy to pick out). This simple act has always astounded me. Friendships are made after introduction, and my friend was quick to begin another.

Graduation was one of the most fun times of my life (that includes the Senior Trek). It was also the most difficult time for realizations. The biggest regret I had hit me while practicing for graduation night. I had the great opportunity to sit next to one of my best friends. However, on the other side of me was a guy that I did not know well and rarely said anything to. I tried to be cordial as I would when talking to anybody, but he was the better. The young man is paralyzed from a car accident, but he still had great manners and was more willing to be friendly. He teased that if his legs were in the way to just kick them back over because it wouldn't hurt. I laughed at his joke, and was happy that he considered me as a friend. Right then I realized I had missed out on one friendship. Who knows how many opportunities I had passed up.

So, it has been my goal to make sure I am more outgoing and introduce myself whenever possible. I have even been on a date with a friend who got upset with me because I took the opportunity to introduce myself before he could perform the introductions. Maybe it was rude of me to do that, but I have come to believe that it is better that I just go forth. I also find that if I am open to people I have more fun and enjoy myself a lot more.

Now, I am not perfect... I realized that I don't always talk to people easily, but I know that I will get better as time goes on. I am not going to let go of the opportunity I've been given to meet other people... I will try to warm up to other people as quickly as I can.

Trust me; I trust you

One night, after viewing a late showing of Rocky Balboa, my roommates discovered the joy in trying all the youthful mind games on me. Of course I enjoyed relaxing and meditating, but I as well as all of my roommates were surprised at how well these silly games worked on me. I found the whole thing quite hilarious, but I was quite surprised when someone exclaimed that I trusted other people easily. I had talked to another friend about trusting people just a week or so before, and the recurrence of the topic set me to thinking. I brought it back up a little while later and one of my roommates assured me that the reason I was easily influenced was because I was 'open' to things. I can understand how that works, but I continued thinking about trust and wondering if I'm too trusting of other people.

A quote that comes to my mind when thinking about trust (this is weird that I actually remember this one, but I contemplated putting it in my graduation speech) was quoted by Frank Crane. He said, "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." How much I have thought about this statement, and I have come to accept it as my belief of trust.

Many times in life we are fooled- have the wool pulled over our eyes. A trusting person is the most likely to be fooled or deceived easily, but a true friend will not be unkind enough to test this of the person. On the other hand, not trusting a person enough can be the mistake of the person who is doing the trusting. Trust is key in any friendship, but how easily trust can be lost by either person in the party. Not having the confidence of a friend is painful, and having someone take advantage of you is hurtful. Therefore, Frank Crane was correct.

I am willing to accept what others may say making me a very open person. Personally, I have come to trust anyone so long as they don't provide me with a reason not to. But, if given a reason to distrust an individual, I know I am unwilling to believe them again. I'm positive my trust is hard to regain back. I probably won't bestow my acceptance on a being so willingly if they have already misled or hurt me.

Now, I understand that many will consider me to be a foolish idiot to trust in other people so willingly, but I have come to realize that this is the way to find out if the person is a true friend or not.

Who really cares?

I have come to realize that a commonly used phrase among my generation, and this includes myself, is, "I don't care." (Another common form of this phrase is, "It doesn't matter." I say this to clarify if I use this phrase in replace of the first.) I happened to say this to one of my roommates just the other evening, then just as a side note, I also said, "I say that a lot. I guess I don't ever care enough." The situation in which I expressed this was a truthful use of, "I don't care," but the afterthought got me to thinking. Do people really care? My response to this question is yes.

There are many individuals that would step out of the way for anyone! I believe that these people will be more disposed to say, "I don't care," to please those around them. Perhaps once in a while the person who is stepping aside will, in all actuality, have an opinion or care about what happens. Using the phrase, "I don't care," in this situation is one major way to avoid having to deal with any disputes or differences in opinion. I know that if I use this reason I don't want to hurt a relationship that I have or make the other person feel as if they have done wrong. Once I make a friendship, I want to keep the friendship. Not letting some disputation even arise is a simple way to do so. I feel almost as if I must accommodate my feelings for the sake of others, and that doesn't bother me.

Perhaps, the greatest reason why someone would reply with, "I don't care," when they really do is fear. No one likes to be caught off guard, and a simple remedy is to act as if it didn't really matter. In a sense this fear deals with a person's pride. The matter has become personal to the offended, but instead of going out on a limb with truth, they "don't care." Feelings and emotions are then concealed and the offender doesn't know what they may have done. So, replying in this manner is a form of protecting one's self. A mask- or persona- hides what the offended may be feeling.

I have made it my personal goal not to cover up the way I feel with a simple, "I don't care." However, I realize that I will probably say it again in my life. It has become a reflex for me to say this just to maintain an even tone in the conversation. My feelings are difficult for even me to understand, and I find that I require time to contemplate the information or action before giving a logical response that is not bitter or unkind. So, the purpose of saying, "I don't care," is to protect one or the other person in the conversation. Maybe, if it's right, make sure the person is OK with everything.