Who really cares?

I have come to realize that a commonly used phrase among my generation, and this includes myself, is, "I don't care." (Another common form of this phrase is, "It doesn't matter." I say this to clarify if I use this phrase in replace of the first.) I happened to say this to one of my roommates just the other evening, then just as a side note, I also said, "I say that a lot. I guess I don't ever care enough." The situation in which I expressed this was a truthful use of, "I don't care," but the afterthought got me to thinking. Do people really care? My response to this question is yes.

There are many individuals that would step out of the way for anyone! I believe that these people will be more disposed to say, "I don't care," to please those around them. Perhaps once in a while the person who is stepping aside will, in all actuality, have an opinion or care about what happens. Using the phrase, "I don't care," in this situation is one major way to avoid having to deal with any disputes or differences in opinion. I know that if I use this reason I don't want to hurt a relationship that I have or make the other person feel as if they have done wrong. Once I make a friendship, I want to keep the friendship. Not letting some disputation even arise is a simple way to do so. I feel almost as if I must accommodate my feelings for the sake of others, and that doesn't bother me.

Perhaps, the greatest reason why someone would reply with, "I don't care," when they really do is fear. No one likes to be caught off guard, and a simple remedy is to act as if it didn't really matter. In a sense this fear deals with a person's pride. The matter has become personal to the offended, but instead of going out on a limb with truth, they "don't care." Feelings and emotions are then concealed and the offender doesn't know what they may have done. So, replying in this manner is a form of protecting one's self. A mask- or persona- hides what the offended may be feeling.

I have made it my personal goal not to cover up the way I feel with a simple, "I don't care." However, I realize that I will probably say it again in my life. It has become a reflex for me to say this just to maintain an even tone in the conversation. My feelings are difficult for even me to understand, and I find that I require time to contemplate the information or action before giving a logical response that is not bitter or unkind. So, the purpose of saying, "I don't care," is to protect one or the other person in the conversation. Maybe, if it's right, make sure the person is OK with everything.