1. Maneater- Nelly Furtado
2. The Middle- Jimmy Eat World
3. Calling You- Blue October
4. What's Left of Me- Nick Lachey
5. When it All Falls Apart- The Veronicas
6. Walking on Broken Glass- Annie Lennox
7. Apologize- One Republic
8. Rain- Breaking Benjamin
I know... it's a weird combination of music... but that's just how I am. These songs seems to comfort me more than any others right now so that's why they are on the top of my list. I just wish that I could play them over and over until I felt better, but we all know that is not going to happen. Maybe they will just help for the time being...
August 3, 2008
July 31, 2008
I've won!
Well, here it is folks, my first blogger award, I would like to thank everyone who made this possible!
This Prestigious award was given to me by my wonderful cousin Christopher Clark whose blog can be found at http://www.elderclark.com/. He has some awesome things to say and has spent a lot of time in making his blog fun and informative for his mission in only four days! Read some of the stuff he's put up and enjoy the fab pictures of his sweet muscles!
So, there are rules to this award.
1. Post the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 7 (or however many you want really) other people for this award and add links to their blog.
4. Leave a message for the people that you nominated!
******
I am going to begin by nominating another cousin... Casi! http://mama2nile.blogspot.com/ She is a new mother who has amazing writing skills! She also has the great talent of expressing her emotions from her life within her blogs, and many of them have even left me near tears!
******
Next, I would like to nominated another family member (they're the blogs I visit all the time!)... Royell! Royell is awesome at taking pictures and making sure that they go up along with her blogs! She focuses a lot of her blogs on the family and what is going on and that is awesome because she lives so far away. But I do not nominate her only for this, but because she has awesome writing skills that aren't usually seen on her blogs. She is one to write- or call- her family and check up on them! She sincerily cares for each person and has a way of making each one feel special through these notes or comments. Thank you! She can be found at http://adamroyellphong.blogspot.com/.
This Prestigious award was given to me by my wonderful cousin Christopher Clark whose blog can be found at http://www.elderclark.com/. He has some awesome things to say and has spent a lot of time in making his blog fun and informative for his mission in only four days! Read some of the stuff he's put up and enjoy the fab pictures of his sweet muscles!
So, there are rules to this award.
1. Post the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 7 (or however many you want really) other people for this award and add links to their blog.
4. Leave a message for the people that you nominated!
******
I am going to begin by nominating another cousin... Casi! http://mama2nile.blogspot.com/ She is a new mother who has amazing writing skills! She also has the great talent of expressing her emotions from her life within her blogs, and many of them have even left me near tears!
******
Next, I would like to nominated another family member (they're the blogs I visit all the time!)... Royell! Royell is awesome at taking pictures and making sure that they go up along with her blogs! She focuses a lot of her blogs on the family and what is going on and that is awesome because she lives so far away. But I do not nominate her only for this, but because she has awesome writing skills that aren't usually seen on her blogs. She is one to write- or call- her family and check up on them! She sincerily cares for each person and has a way of making each one feel special through these notes or comments. Thank you! She can be found at http://adamroyellphong.blogspot.com/.
July 27, 2008
Growth where Growth is Undesired
Golly... I learn so many things so often that I should be more faithful when writing something here on the blog. Right now I am marveling (not with a- persay- good connotation) at how life can change so quickly. Never before in my life have I been so confused at what my Heavenly Father's plan is for me. I suppose I have know what it is, it's just that little upsets happen that turn me around until I am so dizzy I lose focus. It's amazing that it can change even from one day to the next.
Life, for me, has always been about learning and improving. I love to learn and I desperately want to improve myself. But these past few days have left me lost with what Heavenly Father would want me to learn. I was searching through all of my personal understanding to discover why I was so lost. But a good talk with my mom (bless her soul for putting up with me) set me in the right direction. I have been a very independent person, but I am learning now that I need to have more of my Heavenly Father's influence in my life. I need to allow his guidance to direct me. I guess I get my mind so set on the way I think it should be (and the way I think Heavenly Father thinks it should be) that I forget His influence and council. I am going to let him guide me more with everything that I do, but I hope things don't go completely astray from how they have been.
I also want to mention that the storm that rolled through today was helpful to me in more than one way. I love the rainy weather and could not be more thankful that it came when it did, but I also got to meet my neighbors, who I have neglected for so long! I am such a horrible person when it comes to being social- but I truly enjoyed getting to know them and hope to visit some time soon.
A special thanks is in order for my mother- whom I love with all my heart. The sweetie is going to come and visit me while I struggle through this trial, but I know that we are going to have fun while she is here!
This picture was taken outside during the thunder strom... it looked cooler in life.
Life, for me, has always been about learning and improving. I love to learn and I desperately want to improve myself. But these past few days have left me lost with what Heavenly Father would want me to learn. I was searching through all of my personal understanding to discover why I was so lost. But a good talk with my mom (bless her soul for putting up with me) set me in the right direction. I have been a very independent person, but I am learning now that I need to have more of my Heavenly Father's influence in my life. I need to allow his guidance to direct me. I guess I get my mind so set on the way I think it should be (and the way I think Heavenly Father thinks it should be) that I forget His influence and council. I am going to let him guide me more with everything that I do, but I hope things don't go completely astray from how they have been.
I also want to mention that the storm that rolled through today was helpful to me in more than one way. I love the rainy weather and could not be more thankful that it came when it did, but I also got to meet my neighbors, who I have neglected for so long! I am such a horrible person when it comes to being social- but I truly enjoyed getting to know them and hope to visit some time soon.
A special thanks is in order for my mother- whom I love with all my heart. The sweetie is going to come and visit me while I struggle through this trial, but I know that we are going to have fun while she is here!
This picture was taken outside during the thunder strom... it looked cooler in life.
July 11, 2008
BFFs
Friends are something I have not written much about and I feel that I should express some gratitude to some particular peeps. If there is one thing that I have learned throughout my life, it is that to have good friends, I have to be way lucky and blessed. It amazes me how fortunate I have been and there is no better way of expressing this than by either embarrassing them or by mentioning them publicly. So for the sake of keeping their friendship a bit longer, I will just publicly mention them!
Mavanie: I met Mavanie… well… um… a long time ago. So long ago, in fact, that I have no idea where in the world I met her at... probably school. All I know was that we were in the same kindergarten class and church ward. When we were little we had a blast doing all sorts of stuff, even if her older brother was tormenting her by pulling her hair. When I moved, she was the only friend that wrote me faithfully, and I still have those letters somewhere in my collections of papers. She was there for me when I returned to Utah and we have been great friends still. Of course we have had our ups and downs, but who said friendships were easy!?! We share many memories and most of them will remain in the secrecy of our journals. But I spent many hours with her working on the yearbook staff, enduring long bus rides, playing sports, heaving hefty weights, staying out to my eleven o’clock curfew, watching some flicks with friends, and just driving around doing anything that we could (because what else is there to do in small towns?).
Alex: Well, when I moved away from my hometown, it was just by pure happenstance that Alex and I lived in the same house. Her last minute decision helped me through my first year of college. Even if she stole me away from our sour tempered roommate, she definitely helped get me out of my shell. I don’t remember the day that I first met her, but there are many days that I can remember since. Alex was not one to remain idle… even if that meant we were completely crazy. She even helped discover some silly quirks about myself… hypnosis is NOT cool! She always was happy and could get anyone to laugh no matter how bad the situation was. We spent lots of time licking plates, finding creative uses for clothespins, doing handstands, braking shoulders (only her’s), visiting her family in a faraway country, making midnight runs to Wallies, and watching Alias.
Natalie: Well… I’ve known Nat for only one year. But I can tell you that in a house of ten girls it is wonderful to have a solid, down to earth, head you can converse with or laugh hysterically at t.v. commercials. It’s also very good to have someone who will drive you around in their very hot, very squeaky vehicle (clear to the stop sign baby!).
Nat was very good to listen to any stresses that I have had when I have had stress (I say it like this to keep my stresses secretive). Dinner and a good conversation are always beneficial to one’s health. She has been so giving and has spent a lot of time serving me by giving me rides since my lame-o car has not been working- one day I will get a card and be able to beat her to the cashier!
Zane: I have never met a person who can be as tolerable as Zane is towards me- even when I feel guilty over a fish he is willing to listen to me. His positive attitude is one that I can mimic in my own life because he is just always laughing at something or doing something crazy. There are so many other attributes of Zane’s that I hope to learn throughout my life; he is a great example, a hard worker, very energetic, positive, happy, good at listening, understanding, and truly a caring person. Perhaps it is silly to say but legos are probably the foundation of our relationship, but who doesn’t love building blocks?!? (especially when they are Star Wars). Just who he is amazes me and I wouldn’t ask him to be any other way than he is now.
So these are some of my many friends, but I just thought that I would give a shout-out to these ones who have influenced my life so dramatically. I love each and every one of them and pray that they will be blessed for their friendship towards me.
Mavanie: I met Mavanie… well… um… a long time ago. So long ago, in fact, that I have no idea where in the world I met her at... probably school. All I know was that we were in the same kindergarten class and church ward. When we were little we had a blast doing all sorts of stuff, even if her older brother was tormenting her by pulling her hair. When I moved, she was the only friend that wrote me faithfully, and I still have those letters somewhere in my collections of papers. She was there for me when I returned to Utah and we have been great friends still. Of course we have had our ups and downs, but who said friendships were easy!?! We share many memories and most of them will remain in the secrecy of our journals. But I spent many hours with her working on the yearbook staff, enduring long bus rides, playing sports, heaving hefty weights, staying out to my eleven o’clock curfew, watching some flicks with friends, and just driving around doing anything that we could (because what else is there to do in small towns?).
Alex: Well, when I moved away from my hometown, it was just by pure happenstance that Alex and I lived in the same house. Her last minute decision helped me through my first year of college. Even if she stole me away from our sour tempered roommate, she definitely helped get me out of my shell. I don’t remember the day that I first met her, but there are many days that I can remember since. Alex was not one to remain idle… even if that meant we were completely crazy. She even helped discover some silly quirks about myself… hypnosis is NOT cool! She always was happy and could get anyone to laugh no matter how bad the situation was. We spent lots of time licking plates, finding creative uses for clothespins, doing handstands, braking shoulders (only her’s), visiting her family in a faraway country, making midnight runs to Wallies, and watching Alias.
Natalie: Well… I’ve known Nat for only one year. But I can tell you that in a house of ten girls it is wonderful to have a solid, down to earth, head you can converse with or laugh hysterically at t.v. commercials. It’s also very good to have someone who will drive you around in their very hot, very squeaky vehicle (clear to the stop sign baby!).
Nat was very good to listen to any stresses that I have had when I have had stress (I say it like this to keep my stresses secretive). Dinner and a good conversation are always beneficial to one’s health. She has been so giving and has spent a lot of time serving me by giving me rides since my lame-o car has not been working- one day I will get a card and be able to beat her to the cashier!
Zane: I have never met a person who can be as tolerable as Zane is towards me- even when I feel guilty over a fish he is willing to listen to me. His positive attitude is one that I can mimic in my own life because he is just always laughing at something or doing something crazy. There are so many other attributes of Zane’s that I hope to learn throughout my life; he is a great example, a hard worker, very energetic, positive, happy, good at listening, understanding, and truly a caring person. Perhaps it is silly to say but legos are probably the foundation of our relationship, but who doesn’t love building blocks?!? (especially when they are Star Wars). Just who he is amazes me and I wouldn’t ask him to be any other way than he is now.
So these are some of my many friends, but I just thought that I would give a shout-out to these ones who have influenced my life so dramatically. I love each and every one of them and pray that they will be blessed for their friendship towards me.
March 26, 2008
Fear
I have a couple of things that I really am afraid of: running water (rivers and such), people (those creepy peeping toms), trains, and flying (I have never done it, but allowing myself to be trasported at such speeds and such high altitudes just doesn't interest me). Of course I know I have to get over most of these fears to actually live! I can't just stop using water- it's too vital. People- even the creepy ones- happen to inhabit the earth. I have to cross train tracks to get to the other side. Flying, however, will just have to wait. I have no purpose to go up there soon.
I realize my fears may help me decide some of my choices, but I have a hard time allowing these things to control how I live my life. Just this last weekend I spent a full hour inside the Hoover Dam worried about weather I was actually going to live through the experience. But look at how AWESOME that dam is! Look at how amazing it is that people can actually fly! Why do I fear the things I do? Why do I feel these things have to control my life?
Water scares me because of a personal experience that I share with select people. All I have to say is that it is powerful, and many people underestimate the actual grandure of it.
Oddly enough, most of my fears come from dreams. I had a horrible dream when I was younger about someone who was peeping into my window... I woke up right after I saw this person and never found out if he was hostile or not. It's really silly to think that this dream has affected the way I look at people. Not once in my life have I EVER had someone peering through the window at me (excluding the time my dad did that). The chance is still there, but what is the likelyhood that it will ever happen? Maybe it's just that one time that I fear... perhaps I believe all peeping toms to be hostile. I know some are not because I know some people that actually try to get a scare out of people. Luckily I have good friends that know better than freaking me out like that. Riley once scared me like this. He was just standing in the dark in a room that I passed. When I caught sight of him I screamed and ran for my bedroom. He literally made me cry by trying that out... He hasn't tried doing that since.
Another dream affected my fear of trains. I am suprised at this one though. This fear happened to come about only about a year ago. In this dream, someone died by being hit. Now every time I cross the tracks I worry that I will be hit. I look both ways, but I still feel as if a train racing at the speed of light may plow into me. Strange, it's just like a creepy concious fear.
Planes, well I can't complain much. I'm sure will have the unfortunate opportunity to get on one sooner than I would like. Although I greatly fear the idea, I'm sure it will outway the many hours it would take to actually travel by car and boat.
Even though I may fear something that others do not, people have their own fears. They may chuckle at the idea of a small creek freaking me out, but they probably don't understand the magnitude that I place water. These other people may fear something that I wouldn't even think twice about, but I have no place to laugh at another individual's fears. All I could ever say is that I have come to see my fears as something that could cause a threat, but I cannot allow my life to be dictated by such things. I am in total control.
I realize my fears may help me decide some of my choices, but I have a hard time allowing these things to control how I live my life. Just this last weekend I spent a full hour inside the Hoover Dam worried about weather I was actually going to live through the experience. But look at how AWESOME that dam is! Look at how amazing it is that people can actually fly! Why do I fear the things I do? Why do I feel these things have to control my life?
Water scares me because of a personal experience that I share with select people. All I have to say is that it is powerful, and many people underestimate the actual grandure of it.
Oddly enough, most of my fears come from dreams. I had a horrible dream when I was younger about someone who was peeping into my window... I woke up right after I saw this person and never found out if he was hostile or not. It's really silly to think that this dream has affected the way I look at people. Not once in my life have I EVER had someone peering through the window at me (excluding the time my dad did that). The chance is still there, but what is the likelyhood that it will ever happen? Maybe it's just that one time that I fear... perhaps I believe all peeping toms to be hostile. I know some are not because I know some people that actually try to get a scare out of people. Luckily I have good friends that know better than freaking me out like that. Riley once scared me like this. He was just standing in the dark in a room that I passed. When I caught sight of him I screamed and ran for my bedroom. He literally made me cry by trying that out... He hasn't tried doing that since.
Another dream affected my fear of trains. I am suprised at this one though. This fear happened to come about only about a year ago. In this dream, someone died by being hit. Now every time I cross the tracks I worry that I will be hit. I look both ways, but I still feel as if a train racing at the speed of light may plow into me. Strange, it's just like a creepy concious fear.
Planes, well I can't complain much. I'm sure will have the unfortunate opportunity to get on one sooner than I would like. Although I greatly fear the idea, I'm sure it will outway the many hours it would take to actually travel by car and boat.
Even though I may fear something that others do not, people have their own fears. They may chuckle at the idea of a small creek freaking me out, but they probably don't understand the magnitude that I place water. These other people may fear something that I wouldn't even think twice about, but I have no place to laugh at another individual's fears. All I could ever say is that I have come to see my fears as something that could cause a threat, but I cannot allow my life to be dictated by such things. I am in total control.
March 10, 2008
Brain Damage
Hola world!
I have not written in a very long time about something that is on my mind or whatnot. However, I have been coming to view myself in such new light, and have been having such a hard time with life, that I need to say something- anything- or else I just might go crazy.
I have come to realize that it is important to be balanced in your life. I have no balance right now, and because I am trying to balance it out I keep loosing control and whack my head on the ground a lot. Unfortunately, I really believe that this 'whacking' that I am doing to my head is giving me some serious brain damage. I have lost a lot of patience; I am dissatisfied with everything that I do; I am unsure about a lot of things; I am always behind; I forget the important things in my life; and on top of all that, I am now sick (well I've been sick for about a week now, but it got worse last night).
Because I have been so focused on everything that is negative, that is all I am getting. Everything that seems to be happening in my life all seems to be negative and it depressing me way out! I have been trying desperately to fix everything because I don't like the way everything is, but as I said earlier I feel like I am giving myself brain damage. The more I try the harder I hit. Whatever though. If I focus on the positive, maybe things will get better. Hopefully. *crossed fingers*
I have not written in a very long time about something that is on my mind or whatnot. However, I have been coming to view myself in such new light, and have been having such a hard time with life, that I need to say something- anything- or else I just might go crazy.
I have come to realize that it is important to be balanced in your life. I have no balance right now, and because I am trying to balance it out I keep loosing control and whack my head on the ground a lot. Unfortunately, I really believe that this 'whacking' that I am doing to my head is giving me some serious brain damage. I have lost a lot of patience; I am dissatisfied with everything that I do; I am unsure about a lot of things; I am always behind; I forget the important things in my life; and on top of all that, I am now sick (well I've been sick for about a week now, but it got worse last night).
Because I have been so focused on everything that is negative, that is all I am getting. Everything that seems to be happening in my life all seems to be negative and it depressing me way out! I have been trying desperately to fix everything because I don't like the way everything is, but as I said earlier I feel like I am giving myself brain damage. The more I try the harder I hit. Whatever though. If I focus on the positive, maybe things will get better. Hopefully. *crossed fingers*
February 29, 2008
Life and Reasons
It has been a long time since I have posted anything on my blog. I guess it's because I have no time to even think. You may laugh at this, but the thing is I am too busy for myself. I am taking 16 credit hours (and the classes are kickin' me hard), a lot of church work, and a little time to share with some roommates or friends. That's why I have had no ideas and why I am so unhappy. But I have been working on it, and I know that I am the only one in control of my attitude.
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