"Whoever first said there is a light at the end of the tunnel is an idiot... I've never had the privilege of traveling with such extravagance. Yep... Wide open stormy or hot weather for me... I need an umbrella."
-latest Facebook status update.
I know I am no different than anyone else... we all have many struggles to our few successes. But the most difficult struggle for me has been my current. It's not because anything is particularly difficult. In fact it has to do with feeling stagnant. I have very little to do. I have had very few visitors (kinda hard to have visitors when they are all busy). I can't even get out of my house because I have no car to take me somewhere and the weather is too cold for me to take my little one anywhere. I have always been a busy person with extra curricular activities during high school, and too many classes and responsibilities during college. I never imagined I would be so tired of doing nothing. I went from doing it all to nothing. I only desire to caution all of you who feel as if being spread thin is a bad thing... Enjoy it, because it is a million times better than doing the same thing day, after day, after day, after day, after, well, you get the point!
Oh, and just as a little kick to this, the only break in my monotonous life will be getting my wisdom teeth removed in a few weeks!
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
January 24, 2011
March 26, 2008
Fear
I have a couple of things that I really am afraid of: running water (rivers and such), people (those creepy peeping toms), trains, and flying (I have never done it, but allowing myself to be trasported at such speeds and such high altitudes just doesn't interest me). Of course I know I have to get over most of these fears to actually live! I can't just stop using water- it's too vital. People- even the creepy ones- happen to inhabit the earth. I have to cross train tracks to get to the other side. Flying, however, will just have to wait. I have no purpose to go up there soon.
I realize my fears may help me decide some of my choices, but I have a hard time allowing these things to control how I live my life. Just this last weekend I spent a full hour inside the Hoover Dam worried about weather I was actually going to live through the experience. But look at how AWESOME that dam is! Look at how amazing it is that people can actually fly! Why do I fear the things I do? Why do I feel these things have to control my life?
Water scares me because of a personal experience that I share with select people. All I have to say is that it is powerful, and many people underestimate the actual grandure of it.
Oddly enough, most of my fears come from dreams. I had a horrible dream when I was younger about someone who was peeping into my window... I woke up right after I saw this person and never found out if he was hostile or not. It's really silly to think that this dream has affected the way I look at people. Not once in my life have I EVER had someone peering through the window at me (excluding the time my dad did that). The chance is still there, but what is the likelyhood that it will ever happen? Maybe it's just that one time that I fear... perhaps I believe all peeping toms to be hostile. I know some are not because I know some people that actually try to get a scare out of people. Luckily I have good friends that know better than freaking me out like that. Riley once scared me like this. He was just standing in the dark in a room that I passed. When I caught sight of him I screamed and ran for my bedroom. He literally made me cry by trying that out... He hasn't tried doing that since.
Another dream affected my fear of trains. I am suprised at this one though. This fear happened to come about only about a year ago. In this dream, someone died by being hit. Now every time I cross the tracks I worry that I will be hit. I look both ways, but I still feel as if a train racing at the speed of light may plow into me. Strange, it's just like a creepy concious fear.
Planes, well I can't complain much. I'm sure will have the unfortunate opportunity to get on one sooner than I would like. Although I greatly fear the idea, I'm sure it will outway the many hours it would take to actually travel by car and boat.
Even though I may fear something that others do not, people have their own fears. They may chuckle at the idea of a small creek freaking me out, but they probably don't understand the magnitude that I place water. These other people may fear something that I wouldn't even think twice about, but I have no place to laugh at another individual's fears. All I could ever say is that I have come to see my fears as something that could cause a threat, but I cannot allow my life to be dictated by such things. I am in total control.
I realize my fears may help me decide some of my choices, but I have a hard time allowing these things to control how I live my life. Just this last weekend I spent a full hour inside the Hoover Dam worried about weather I was actually going to live through the experience. But look at how AWESOME that dam is! Look at how amazing it is that people can actually fly! Why do I fear the things I do? Why do I feel these things have to control my life?
Water scares me because of a personal experience that I share with select people. All I have to say is that it is powerful, and many people underestimate the actual grandure of it.
Oddly enough, most of my fears come from dreams. I had a horrible dream when I was younger about someone who was peeping into my window... I woke up right after I saw this person and never found out if he was hostile or not. It's really silly to think that this dream has affected the way I look at people. Not once in my life have I EVER had someone peering through the window at me (excluding the time my dad did that). The chance is still there, but what is the likelyhood that it will ever happen? Maybe it's just that one time that I fear... perhaps I believe all peeping toms to be hostile. I know some are not because I know some people that actually try to get a scare out of people. Luckily I have good friends that know better than freaking me out like that. Riley once scared me like this. He was just standing in the dark in a room that I passed. When I caught sight of him I screamed and ran for my bedroom. He literally made me cry by trying that out... He hasn't tried doing that since.
Another dream affected my fear of trains. I am suprised at this one though. This fear happened to come about only about a year ago. In this dream, someone died by being hit. Now every time I cross the tracks I worry that I will be hit. I look both ways, but I still feel as if a train racing at the speed of light may plow into me. Strange, it's just like a creepy concious fear.
Planes, well I can't complain much. I'm sure will have the unfortunate opportunity to get on one sooner than I would like. Although I greatly fear the idea, I'm sure it will outway the many hours it would take to actually travel by car and boat.
Even though I may fear something that others do not, people have their own fears. They may chuckle at the idea of a small creek freaking me out, but they probably don't understand the magnitude that I place water. These other people may fear something that I wouldn't even think twice about, but I have no place to laugh at another individual's fears. All I could ever say is that I have come to see my fears as something that could cause a threat, but I cannot allow my life to be dictated by such things. I am in total control.
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